Sunday, January 6, 2013

New Year's Resolutions - or not

We're still here - the end of the world didn't happen. Darn, good thing I bought refundable tickets on that Russian Space Shuttle to the International Space Station. My American Express points balance went waaay up last month. Do those points disappear if the tickets are returned?

Everyone likes to ask me if I made a New Year's Resolution. I hesitate and my inner demon fights to speak out loud. You might recognize the sound, it's similar to a diner waitress on duty at 0230 hours at the local coffee shop where you make the run to pick up food - you know the gal. She has the 1965 poofy haircut, wears black or brown lace-up shoes, and has the skinniest chicken-legs you've ever seen in your life. her voice is raspy from smoking all of her life.

Mine usually only sounds like that if I get bronchitis from a cold, and cough like a harbor seal.

So, what would mine be? I'll give my PC resolution first, followed by the uncensored one after (what my inner demon is thinking of saying).

1) Be nicer to the officers over the radio when sending them to a run off their area.
1a) Tell the guys to quit whining about the calls I send them to. Come on, really! Their badges don't say beat 43! How many calls do we (dispatchers) sift through and handle without actually assigning to a field unit? just handle the incident.

2) Let me think about and I'll let you know if I come up with something. This is my response to the question on ideas to help get our department back on track.
2a) What I'd like to say is I'll get back to you. Look, I know memos and emails are sent out with these questions, but how many times must we see these pleas for 'assistance'? With a nod to those leaders out there who are sincere, really? Show me policy or idea that has been implemented from an employees idea - then I will be more willing to listen.

3) Tell the boss CAD is making the job easier. Because technology is the way to go and I will tow the company line when asked.
3a) okay, sorry guys, the computer isn't as efficient as you told us it would be. I still need my mapbook, pad of paper, and I'm entering some items 2 to 3 times as much compared to when we handled the job on paper.

4) Sure, all is well and we all just fine.I promise to say this everytime someone asks me how fines are in dispatch.
4a) You asked the question and here's the answer: Amy is a cranky pain-in-the-neck because she's junior and hates working swing shift; Bill won't follow the rotation schedule; Jean leaves the kitchen area in a mess every other day and blames her co-workers when confronted; Chris is late or calls in sick at least once a week; and we can't get schedules from the field for special events which leaves us stuck on last minute overtime. Oh yeah, the fax machine only prints out half a page and we've told you this five times now and it's still not been fixed.

All fun aside, I don't do resolutions. I'd never say any of that negative stuff over a phone or radio. If I had a problem with a real person, I'd deal with the individual, and I would hope my co-workers would do the same with me. No one is perfect.

We have a good team at our department. If a field unit gets out of line on occasion, we in dispatch will handle the problem with the decorum of our veteran experience. That, and the help of the occasional 'extra' CAD event that just happens to appear at the right moment in the field personnels' beat. Weeeelllllll - keep 'em busy and you keep them out of trouble.

stay safe out there.

** cross-posted in APCO's blogs **

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